


Reds vs. Blues vs. Freelancers vs. Zombies

by UselessSakura



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Drugs, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, M/M, Sexual Tension, Tag as I Go Along, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-06-09 18:29:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19481575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessSakura/pseuds/UselessSakura
Summary: After receiving a call from command after months of them being silent, the reds and blues of Blood Gulch are launched into a post-apocalyptic world, a world ridden of disease that few survived. A disease that caused the undead to live once again, and kill many others in the process; and, according to a very stubborn scientist, it’s up to them to find a cure and save the world.[WILL BE POSTING REGULARLY...hopefully]





	1. The Weed Stock

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Fourth of July!

“And so, we are expected to run out of food in one week,” Simmons finished, looking into the audience. But none of the other reds and blues seemed very interested in Simmons’ analysis. 

“Forget that. What about the weed?” Grif asked frantically, turning to look at Church, eyes wide. “You’re in charge of keeping track of our stash. How’s it look?”

All eyes fell on Church, who shook his head slowly. “Not good. We’re almost out,” he admitted soberly. 

Tucker slammed his fist onto the tennis table. “Dammit!” 

“Yeah!” Caboose agreed angrily, although he probably wasn’t even following the conversation at all. 

“This is unbelievable!” Sister exclaimed. 

“Don’t worry, guys! I still have wine and cheese!” Donut chirped, but his announcement was ignored. 

Taking a deep breath, Simmons rubbed his face. “You all are fucking insane. We’re going to run out of food,” he eyed Sarge, “and strawberry yoo-hoos-” “Dang-nabbit!” -”by next week, and you all don’t give a flying fuck.” He laughed humorlessly, glancing up at the ceiling. “I hate all of you.” 

As Simmons had his moment, Grif stood up, addressing the rest of his comrades. “I say that, instead of worrying about our diminishing food supply, we use the rest of our supply of weed to get high as fuck. Now, all of those in favor of doing this, say ‘aye.’” He received a chorus of ‘ayes’ in response. 

Simmons sighed, slumping into his chair. Donut patted his shoulder sympathetically. “I hate you all so fucking much.”

Soon enough, Simmons was downing a bottle of Donut’s wine as thick smoke fogged the room. 

For a while, conversation was scarce as everyone enjoyed their blunts, until Tucker spoke up, voice slightly slurred. “What do you guys think happened to Command?”

“What do you mean?” Church asked, taking a long drag from his blunt.

“They just… disappeared, man.” By now, everyone had tuned in to listen as Tucker continued on, even Simmons halting his wine marathon. “After everyone left on the ship, Command told us during the aftermath that we would all be transferred. It’s been… months since they went silent. Where are they?” 

“What happened to Command?” Tucker whispered. 

Silence hung heavy in the air as the reds and blues came to terms with what exactly their reality had come to. 

And then a loud ringing noise broke through their ears, destroying the silence. They all looked up in surprise at the sound that had become so foreign to them. 

Grif eventually spoke up when the noise didn’t stop after a few minutes. “Is that…”

“The Comm Tower,” Sarge finished slowly. 

“Should we go see who it is?” Donut asked, looking around. 

Simmons nodded. “That’s probably a good idea.”

So they made their way to the Comm Tower situated between the two opposing bases, moving steadily towards it. 

When they reached it, they found Lopez already there, standing in front of the screen.

“Es para vosotros,” Lopez said, noticing the group. He stepped away from the screen, allowing Church to push past everyone and kneel down to look at it. 

He assumed that he met the eyes of the person in armor displayed on the screen. Radio static crackled, the connection weak. 

Church tilted his head. “Who are you?” He asked as everyone crowded around him. 

“My name is David Washington.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that i sort of went AWOL this month, but i am back! This chapter sort of sets the scene, and I'm sorry that it is kind of crap. It's not one of my better pieces, but i assure you that from here on out, you all will get tons of action. It's 3 AM right now,,,,  
> Anywho, i'll probably be updating soon. I will also be tagging individual chapters.

“David… Washingtub…” Caboose said slowly. 

Church, sensing Wash's confusion, supplied helpfully, "Ignore him." 

“Right…” The grey soldier trailed off, watching Caboose stare at the ceiling, already losing interest in their exchange. 

“He’s a lost cause. Just…” Church let out an exasperated sigh. “What do you want? Why’d you call us?” 

Wash focused back on Church. “Right. I called you because I need your help. All of you.” He stared at the group. 

Tucker laughed, which confused Wash. “You want *our* help?” 

“Yes,” Wash nodded. “Why is that so funny?” 

Even Simmons chuckled a bit at that. "Pardon me, but usually *we're* the ones calling on freelancers to help *us*. Well, at least, some of us..." He eyed Church, who rolled his eyes. 

"Just ignore them. They're idiots. 

“Hey! I take offense to that!” Simmons squeaked. 

Grif elbowed him in the side and the two started to argue, until Sarge yelled at them, "Quit yer bickering, soldiers!" And then all *three* of them were arguing while Donut cried out, "Stop it! You're tearing this family apart!"

"Does this happen a lot?" Wash asked curiously. 

“Todo el tiempo.” Locus admitted bitterly. 

As best as Wash could in his suit, he crossed his arms, hollering "Everybody shut up!" 

Sarge, who had a fistful of Grif’s shirt in his hand, his forehead pressed against the latter, released him.   
Simmons shook off Donut, who had latched himself onto his arm. 

Wash inhaled, exhaling through his nose loudly. "Now may I continue?" He took the silence for a 'yes'. "Alright then. The reason I called is because... There was an outbreak." 

"What kind of outbreak?" Sister asked. 

Wash shook his head. "A terrible one. The reason is unknown, but it turns human beings into... Killing machines. It takes over their brain, destroys the person within, leaves only a shell behind of who they used to be." 

Grif raised his eyebrow. "So, like, it turns them into a zombie?" 

"I mean... Yeah, basically." 

Grif broke into a grin. "I must still be high as hell." He looked at everyone else in the room. "This is insane, right? Is this a dream? Somebody pinch Simmons!" 

"It's not a joke. I know it sounds crazy, but-" 

"Crazy? *Crazy*? That is the biggest understatement I have ever heard! How are any of us supposed to believe that?" Grif asked. He looked at Simmons. "You find this crazy, too, right?" 

Simmons glanced off to the side, muttering sheepishly, "It was bound to happen at some point..." 

"God, you fuckin' nerd." Grif grumbled. 

"It does sound a little too far-fetched..." Sarge agreed, wincing a little. 

"Well, it's true." Wash said defensively. "But sure, ignore me. Let's see how long you last before all of your supplies runs out. I mean, Command has stopped answering you, haven't they? You know what they did after all of this shit started happening? They ran. Left all of us to fend for ourselves. Now it's just me. And all of the simulation troopers who were dropped into these canyons? Yeah, they've turned to. And you'll be next if you don't listen to me." 

Nobody responded, stunned. 

And then someone spoke up. 

"Yeah, well," Caboose said loudly, "I think we should listen to Mister Washingtub." 

Sighing, Church rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "Whatever. We've got nothing better to do." 

Nobody argued with the two, and Washington carried on, surprised. "Okay then. There is one plane left here, so I was planning on flying over there and picking you all up. I want you to help me search for my... colleagues, who went M.I.A. after everything happened. And in return, you all get to survive the apocalypse." 

Simmons was the first to respond. "I'm in. We're almost out of food anyways, and since Command is gone... Well, you get the point." 

Wash's shoulders slumped in relief as everyone agreed one-by-one. 

"Okay then. This is good. Well then, I will be flying out in a few days to your outpost. In the mean time, do you all still have your suits? Because you'll definitely need those." 

Church and Sarge shared a look. "Sure..." 

"Good. Then I will be seeing you all in less than a week." 

And with that, the call abruptly ended. 

"Should we have told him that we blew up our helmets?" Sarge asked Church.


End file.
